Over the last week, several tragic deaths have occurred where we live, and it made me take a step back and think of what I truly want for my children and our family because life is so short. Death has a way of putting things into perspective. There is so much I want for my children apart from loving the Lord. There are places I want them to see, people I’d love them to meet, experiences I don’t want them to miss out on, precious memories of a childhood well lived, and a home they can look back on with sweet memories. My heart could burst thinking of it all. I want to give my kids the world and all the beauty it has to behold. But can I?
The culture we live in is driven by a significant case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out.) I mean, genuinely, isn’t that the point of every advertisement we see? The words: “Don’t Miss Out!” “Hurry While It Lasts!” ring in our ears. Or how often do we start feeling bad for ourselves when we see other people having memorable experiences? I’ve been wrestling with these feelings of wanting to give my kids everything I didn’t get to have. And truth be told, there is immaculate beauty everywhere we look! I want my family to experience and savor all of it. From the majestic mountains to the roaring oceans. The cobbled streets of a foreign country and the rolling chai fields of Kenya. Apart from what our world tells us, a question I keep returning to is, do my children actually need these grand and sometimes expensive gestures?
Should You Give Your Kids Everything?
We all have a natural void within us. This unsatisfiable appetite for more. More experiences, more memories, more new things, more money, just more. While none of those desires are inherently wrong, I believe they can easily dictate many of our intentions and emotions within the realm of parenting. Do we constantly need to ensure our children are “happy?” I want to stress, of course, we all want our children to be happy! And as I said, these are not wrong desires. But to what extent do we go to make all of the fun and flashy things happen? Why do we feel the need to do so? This is entirely my observation which you can absolutely disagree with, but I believe we have forgotten that less is often more in a child’s eyes.
Sometimes Less is Priceless
Having children with empty schedules is an incredible place to start the “less is more” mindset. I say this graciously! Each family’s dynamics differ. However, I’ve noticed that with my little trio, filling up their schedules with a constant flow of enriching activities has left them more drained than necessary for their ages. I recently read a quote from Sally Clarkson’s book Awakening Wonder that said, “Quiet is needed to cultivate wonder and imagination.” We are raising incredible little beings that have the capability to imagine, dream, wonder, and be amazed at the simplest of things. Give your kids the space to be able to cultivate that.
Give Your Kids the Gift of Simplicity
I get it. This doesn’t sound fun; in fact, to some, it might even sound dreadful. But may I encourage a perspective shift? Simple doesn’t have to equal boring, and when age-appropriately structured, it can be the miraculous ground where creativity and self-confidence take root! Here are a few examples of some simple “swaps” that I’ve made for our children in the past (ages 6, 4 &1):
- Instead of spending a lot of money at an amusement park, you can have fun by going to a nearby creek or pool and enjoying a favorite snack.
- Some washable paint and an assortment of rocks can be loads more fun than countless hours of overstimulated screen time.
- Instead of heading to Target, consider visiting the library and discovering interesting new books.
- Can’t afford a luxurious vacation? Try camping in the backyard! It’s a more accessible option but just as exciting for little kids.
Beauty is Coming
To bring all of this full circle, my family and I may never get to experience the earthly beauty I previously talked about. I may have to be content with simplicity. Yet, as a Bible-believing Christian, the beauty that eternity holds will be unparalleled. Yes, you better believe I’m talking about heaven! Revelation 21:4 says: “He (God) will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” As Christians, we will spend an eternity relishing in the beauty of God without the effects of sin. Forever and ever. I honestly can’t wrap my mind around it!
So friend, if you somehow feel defeated because you can’t give your family the experiences you want, you are not alone. Remember that children often don’t need extravagant gestures, as intentional and simple acts can fill their little love tanks just as well. And don’t forget that the most beautiful thing we can do on behalf of our children is to point them to their Savior, Jesus Christ.
Lastly, if you’re looking for simple scriptures to pray for your children but do not know where to begin, this blog post is a great place to start!
Heather Funk
Right on, Allison! This is beautiful and I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said here. I’m so encouraged to see you parenting and raising your children in such a healthy way and with a Biblical worldview! It’s so worth it!!! Thank you for spurring others on in this way! You are a very gifted writer!
Allison Peachey
Thank you so very Heather! I am so thankful you found this encouraging and I am humbled by your words! This comment was a blessing to read!